The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.

Whenever someone accuses someone of being a racist - which is rare, you have to admit, considering how much racism there is - there is an incredible outrage. I realized that we live in an environment that it seems to be worse to call someone a racist than to be one.

Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.

The downfall of most diets is that they restrict your intake of food.

Civilised adults do not take apple juice with dinner.

The main symptom of falling in love is that you lose your intellectual prowess.

for someone such as myself, who is kind of feckless and immature, it's better to have rich friends than to be rich yourself, because then you have wealth without the responsibility. You get to go to their houses, and you get acquainted with a level of furniture that you cannot provide for yourself. Furniture, I think is the most important attribute of rich people.