Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.

When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.

Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party.

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

[On parenthood:] You can't change your mind--you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell.