if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.

Being poor is like being a child. Being rich is like being an adult: you get to do whatever you want. Everyone is nice when they have to be; rich people are nice when they feel like it.

There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air.

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place?