if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.

A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.

All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.

The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.

Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many - even more - things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.

I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?