I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.

If in addition to being physically unattractive you find that you do not get along well with others, do not under any circumstances attempt to alleviate this situation by developing an interesting personality. An interesting personality, is, in an adult, insufferable. In a teenager it is frequently punishable by law.

I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.

All of television's appalling, but this is hardly a new statement.

By the time everyone catches up with you, you're bored.

Randomness scares people. Religion is a way to explain randomness.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. The second you meet someone that you're going to fall in love with you deliberately become a moron. You do this in order to fall in love, because it would be impossible to fall in love with any human being if you actually saw them for what they are.