It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.

Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?

The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

I'm a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I'm great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.