Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.

A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.

Smoking is, as far as I'm concerned, the entire point of being an adult.

There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.

My favorite animal is steak.

Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.