I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.

They know you can't get people to stop smoking, so they develop a system of informants. That's the whole idea of second-hand smoke, you know. Make second-hand smoke dangerous and turn everybody against smokers. Then they say you can't even smoke in a bar - a bar! - because bartenders have a right to a smoke-free "workspace." Ah, bartenders, those health nuts.

I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?

I think one manifestation of integrity is holding a grudge. Saying no is a little different. Holding a grudge is the modern equivalent of having standards.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am.

Things that people will say to me, mostly, is that you shouldn't have all these books. It's too expensive.