My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.

American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.

Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.

If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?

I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once.

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.