Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.

The truth is that most families have no smart ones and no pretty ones. Most families are a bunch of unattractive dopes. And it turns out that the Bush family, like most families, has no smart ones. I was not surprised to see this.

In a print interview, as you may or may not know, they [editors] can do whatever they want. And they do. This is why most people are more hesitant to do print, because they can change it, and they do change it. They even change things that are in quotation marks, which is a pet peeve of mine. I've said to numerous reporters, "Would you read me back my direct quotes?" And they always say no. They always say that's against the policy.

I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.

[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.

Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.