Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump.

[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

I am not... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.