Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. The second you meet someone that you're going to fall in love with you deliberately become a moron. You do this in order to fall in love, because it would be impossible to fall in love with any human being if you actually saw them for what they are.

There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

In a print interview, as you may or may not know, they [editors] can do whatever they want. And they do. This is why most people are more hesitant to do print, because they can change it, and they do change it. They even change things that are in quotation marks, which is a pet peeve of mine. I've said to numerous reporters, "Would you read me back my direct quotes?" And they always say no. They always say that's against the policy.