People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.

I just write when fear overtakes me.

Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

People elect the President for reasons that have nothing to do with his ability to be president.

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.

When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.