Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing.

Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered.

Technological innovation has done great damage ... to eating habits. Food is now available in such unpleasant forms that one frequently finds smoking between courses to be an aid to digestion.

Most writers write too much. I have the exact opposite problem. I feel I could write almost anything in a paragraph. I have a natural ability to condense, and so I often think, "Are you kidding me? Five thousand words? How am I gonna make 5,000 words out of that?"

I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once.

A dog who thinks he is a man's best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.