I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between this image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstances, write it down.

People always say "pop culture." As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.

Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment -- it's a second opinion.

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.

I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.

Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.