You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.

I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.

I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Commercials and sometimes other guests - it's the down side of TV. Other people - it's the downside of life in general.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.