Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn't agitate against human nature.
Fran LebowitzNow people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
Fran LebowitzLocal television shows do not, in general, supply make-up artists. The exception to this is Los Angeles, an unusually generous city in this regard, since they also provide this service for radio appearances.
Fran LebowitzDonald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump.
Fran LebowitzOne of the biggest changes in my lifetime, is the phenomenon of men wearing shorts. Men never wore shorts when I was young. This is one of the worst changes, by far. It's disgusting. To have to sit next to grown men on the subway in the summer, and they're wearing shorts? They look ridiculous, like children, and I can't take them seriously. My fashion advice, particularly to men wearing shorts: Ask yourself, 'Could I make a living modeling these shorts?' If the answer is no, then change your clothes. Put on a pair of pants.
Fran Lebowitz