If you feel the urge to write, just lie down and read a book: it will pass.

Commercials and sometimes other guests - it's the down side of TV. Other people - it's the downside of life in general.

If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am.

I'd like to decide who comes here. I'd like to be the admissions director of New York.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. [...] The other problem I have is fear of writing. The act of writing puts you in confrontation with yourself, which is why I think writers assiduously avoid writing. [...] Not writing is more of a psychological problem than a writing problem. All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. [...] It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. Especially when it goes on for years. It's much more relaxing actually to work.

One of the big mistakes they made in Europe is that the circumstances in which you most frequently read or hear the word "race" or "racism" in Europe applies to Muslims. Which is not a race. It is a religion. You can convert to this. You cannot convert your race. I could become a Muslim. I could not become a Chinese person or a black person. So they constantly use that in Europe.