I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.

Even if people aren't Republicans, it doesn't seem shocking to them that Ronald Reagan was the president. Well of course, because Arnold Schwarzenegger was the governor! This is not only a bar too low, this is no bar at all. I don't care who you are, you know 20 people smarter than Ronald Reagan. You know 20 people who would be a better president than Ronald Reagan.

There's too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.

This idea that people have to love and understand each other is absurd. It's not human nature.

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.

Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.