It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia. Eventually within the next quarter of a century, the nostalgia cycles will be so close together that people will not be able to take a step without being nostalgic for the one they just took. At that point, everything stops. Death by Nostalgia.

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.

Stuff up the cracks, turn on the gas, I'm gonna take my life.

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato.

You can bet everything will come to an end. It's going to be ugly and it's going to be a mess, and it's going to be something that somebody did in the name of God.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

The most abundant element in the Universe is stupidity