Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.

The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business

I'm the best you can get. Have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozin' out from your TV set!

A drug is neither moral nor immoral - it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole.

Nobody gives a crap if we're great musicians.

While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'.

Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.