You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

Left me here to cry alone with a bottle of juice and pork chop bone.

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances.

Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold.

They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there.