Information doesn't kill you.

The whiskers sticking up from underneath his pancake makeup, and yet he was a beautiful lady.

I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs.

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing.

Left me here to cry alone with a bottle of juice and pork chop bone.