Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.

The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they're property.

Very few people do covers of my tunes.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.

She was a steady date until she put on some weight.

There is no hell. There is only France.