Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshipers.

I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white.

Gave my money all to you, took my watch and pawned it, too.

Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.

Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands.