Nobody can write such ironic things unless he has a deep sense of injustice-injustice to those members of the race who are victims of the stupid, the pretentious and the hypocritical.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.

Having imagination, it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that, if you were unimaginative, would take you only a minute. Or you might not write the paragraph at all.

I am easily influenced. Compared with me a weather vane is Gibraltar.

There are hundreds who can stand failure to one who can stand success; the good loser is far more common than the good winner.

Remember how excited you were when you turned five years old. Today, you should be 10 times that excited. Happy 50th birthday!