Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.

There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.

Our notion of an optimist is a man who knowing that each year was worse than the preceding, thinks next year will be better. And a pessimist is a man who knows the next year can't be worse than the last one.

Accustomed as I am to public speaking, I know the futility of it.

Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.

You do not know what you can miss before you try.