Ideally, you want to be in a fifty-fifty power-sharing arrangement with the audience - both of you are there for a mutually enjoyable experience.

It's better to play to the host as though in a real conversation and let the audience listen in- which they are.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it's a burning desire, you'll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take.

You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join in before you go on to the next one.

Being a professional comedian is doing it right and good, when you don't feel like it.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.