If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman.

Why is it there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?

If the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms insists upon a firefight, give them a firefight. Just remember, they're wearing flak jackets and you're better off shooting for the head.

You can't kill ideas. But you can sure shoot the people who hold them

The official version of Watergate is as wrong as a Flat Earth Society pamphlet.

One of the biggest lies in the world is that crime doesn't pay. Of course, crime pays.

If you're not a target, you're a failure.