Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke.

I got on the high school speech team and everyday I would get up in front of the class and just start talking.

I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working.

I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo.

I bought a Hummer before I bought a house, and then I bought a house. Every year, everything doubled. The work was doubling. The money was doubling. The popularity was doubling.

I like to tell old jokes on stage after about an hour, or an hour and a half. I'll bring those old ones back because the fans love them.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.