Gabriel Iglesias Quotes

I got on the high school speech team and everyday I would get up in front of the class and just start talking.

Sometimes [high school speech team] was funny, other times it was just talking, but it gave me the confidence to speak in front of people after doing that for a whole year.

The response you get when you're young like "oh you're just getting laughs because you're a little kid and you're cute". They weren't trying to encourage me at all or tell me to keep pursuing this.

I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.

I try not to get political, I don't want to get religious, I don't want to get controversial, I just want to have a show that relates to everybody.

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

As long as you have a director, that's your feedback. It's the director telling you, "Okay. That was great! Okay. Can we add a little? Can you tweak it like this? Can you make it more high pitched? Can you give it a little growl?"

Make sure you're doing impressions of people that are still relevant, and that everyone knows. Red Skelton impressions are a little outdated.

I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles... they don't have one that says 'oops.

[ The aim to be big] is not a joke about my size. It's just that I'm a dreamer, but I'm following through with it. I believe anyone can do it as long as they focus and have a game plan.

Finding places to perform was definitely the biggest challenge. Trying to find my voice over the years was a big thing because when I started I was just doing characters and impressions and that was it.

We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives.

I've already produced one hour specials for other comedians and I have a TV show called Stand Up Revolution where I showcase new talent and so I'd like to continue to do stuff like that and help out the next guy.

It's not an overnight thing. I can legitimately say I've been working my ass off for a long time and the fact that I'm getting this concert movie is perfect because it's coming at just the right time in my life.

Best advice, bro: Think big. Don't think small. If you think small, then you're going to stay small. Think (about) the broad scope.

I bought a Hummer before I bought a house, and then I bought a house. Every year, everything doubled. The work was doubling. The money was doubling. The popularity was doubling.

I started riding the whole 'fluffy' train, and it's a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl 'fat,' yo, she'll raise hell, but if you say, 'Aw girl, look at you, you're fluffy,' there's almost a sexy appeal to it.

When you have nothing but big friends, you never get into arguments - except one. And that is, who is the biggest? I'll let you know right now, there's only one way to settle this. We all get in a bus and we go to Disney and we get on a roller coaster - whoever gets the least amount of clicks on the safety bar is the big one.

I don't wanna just be remembered for the funniest guy in my neighborhood.

It's because you alienate half the room talking about sports. Half the crowd will be against you no matter what you say.

Stand-up is not just an American thing anymore. It's global. In some places, stand-up comedy is brand new. South Africa has only had a scene for 15 years.

There's nowhere in the country that I can't go or won't go. I think it's because I've worked on making my show where everyone can understand it, everyone can relate to it, and no one feels like I'm alienating them.

At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we're talking about it, so it was a good call.

When you hear "Seinfield," no one says, "the Jewish comic." You talk about Cedric the Entertainer, you don't say, "African American comedian Cedric the Entertainer." Even Margaret Cho - who's like one of three Korean performers out there - no one refers to her like that. They say, "It's Margaret Cho."

My favorite people to have fun with are police officers 'cause they're so serious, you know.

In the beginning, yes. I didn't like it because I wanted people to know me by Gabriel Iglesias, not by Fluffy.

Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are.

When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time.

If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like "OK, I get it."

When you're a comedian, the Holy Grail is an hour long HBO special.

I know enough football to know that's funny!

I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.

Once I started doing specials I always incorporated "Fluffy" into it. But with Stand-Up Revolution, I left it out because I want it to be different for people. I'm there, yes, but it's something different.

I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just - I crave it.

If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone.

I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working.

I don't get controversial, I don't get political and I don't tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.

You gotta hang out with people who have big dreams and believe in that dream.

I'm not selling out, denying who I am or where I've come from, not at all. I acknowledge that.

By putting myself out there the way I've been doing people see me as a real person. Even though I do character voices and funny noises the stories are still real and I put them all out there.

If you aim to be big, you will be big. And that's not a pun about my size.

Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.

I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it.

Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?!

I think when we stop putting labels and start worrying more about the performance, that's when you're able to cross over and make yourself a household name and go everywhere.