You know, a lot of people think that just 'cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you'll live a long live, maybe you will. But, why do people measure life by the years instead about how good the years were.

I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.

When you have nothing but big friends, you never get into arguments - except one. And that is, who is the biggest? I'll let you know right now, there's only one way to settle this. We all get in a bus and we go to Disney and we get on a roller coaster - whoever gets the least amount of clicks on the safety bar is the big one.

There's nowhere in the country that I can't go or won't go. I think it's because I've worked on making my show where everyone can understand it, everyone can relate to it, and no one feels like I'm alienating them.

By the end of the semester [in the high school] I was the only one up in front of the class everyday. Actually I could have passed the class four times over because every time you got in front of the class you got extra credit.That was the only class I got an A in and it was the funniest report card because it read Speech - A but everything else was just D, D, D, D.

Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.

If you Google the word "fluffy," I'm the first thing that pops up. It's me, dogs and rabbits.