... life itself is brief, and that is what charges the day with such ridiculous beauty.

No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.

Vacation cruises are advertised as luxurious journeys to exotic places, but a chief pleasure is the reading of books ... . On steamer chairs topside or poolside, in the lounges, everywhere you see men and women with their noses in books, devouring them for hours.

Majestic doesn't appeal to us. We [Americans] like the Grand Canyon better with Clarence and Arlene parked in front of it, smiling.

Your car, comfort though it be, this little den and dining room on wheels, is a prison that deadens your senses, and to feel wholly alive you must go for a walk.

This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.