... life itself is brief, and that is what charges the day with such ridiculous beauty.

You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.

Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster.

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either