Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.

Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.

I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.

Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.

Childhood is the small town everyone came from.

I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.

Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.