I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.

As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.

In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.

Boys, the first drink is a boon, the second is a gamble, the third is poor judgment, and then the rate of descent gets steep

We live a pleasant life shopping at the Food Shoppe . . . taking the kids to the Weinery-Beanery, . . . and eating bran flakes . .. and then, with no warning, we wake up one morning stricken with middle age, full of loneliness, dumb, in pain. Our work is useless, our vocation is lost, and nobody cares about us at all. This is not bearable. In despair, we go do something spectacularly dumb, like run away with Amber the cocktail waitress, and suddenly all the women in our life look at us with unmitigated disgust.

She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.

When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.