Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.

...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.

Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.