It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache.

When in doubt, look intelligent.

I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write if they don't feel like it. I say this as a competitor. I am not interested in encouraging people who are in competition with me.

Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door

Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.