Marriage, friends, is a lifelong feast; love is no light lunch.

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster.

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache.

I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time.

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.

March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.

Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.