We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.

Being rich and thin isn't everything.

When in doubt, look intelligent.

Adolescence hits boys harder than it does girls. Girls bleed a little and their breasts pop out, big deal, but adolescence lands on a guy with both feet. . . . Your body is engulfed by chemicals of rage and despair, you pound, you shriek, you batter your head against the trees. You come away wounded, feeling that life is unknowable, can never be understood, only endured and sometimes cheated.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.