It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.

In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.

Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.