I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.

This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

We carry adolescence around in our bodies all our lives. We get through the Car Crash Age alive and cruise through our early twenties as cool dudes, wily, dashing, winsome . . . shooting baskets, the breeze, the moon, and then we try to become caring men, good husbands, great fathers, good citizens.