I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.

God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.

Give guilt - the gift that lasts forever.

Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.

When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.

Bad things don't happen to writers; it's all material.