I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.

Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.

To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book.

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.