Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.

I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus literary magazine.

We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

Ralph Stanley is like an uncle to us and now that all my uncles are gone, Ralph's singing is even more precious. This album of classic folk songs is one of his best.

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

When in doubt, look intelligent.