It's better to be burnished with use than rusty with principle.

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache.

America of the future will be all malls connected by interstates. All because your parents no longer can their own tomatoes.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

A boy wrote me once to say that he loved it when the news from Lake Wobegon came on the radio because it meant that his parents stopped arguing. That was an eye-opener for me. You work hard to polish your act and then you find out that it does people good in ways you couldn't predict.

Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.

Vacation cruises are advertised as luxurious journeys to exotic places, but a chief pleasure is the reading of books ... . On steamer chairs topside or poolside, in the lounges, everywhere you see men and women with their noses in books, devouring them for hours.