Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Majestic doesn't appeal to us. We [Americans] like the Grand Canyon better with Clarence and Arlene parked in front of it, smiling.

In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.

Give up your good 'Christian' life and follow Jesus

I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.

A boy wrote me once to say that he loved it when the news from Lake Wobegon came on the radio because it meant that his parents stopped arguing. That was an eye-opener for me. You work hard to polish your act and then you find out that it does people good in ways you couldn't predict.

I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus literary magazine.