All fiction comes from a little bit of reality, otherwise it would have no relevance. The fun is in innovation, take something real like this fair, and make it something larger than life.

You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.

Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.

We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus literary magazine.