Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it.

You've got work to do. Don't put this off. And don't take the long view, here. You know? Life is today and tomorrow and - and if you're lucky, next week.

Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door

People meet writers and are bowled over when the writer is friendly to them and invites them to his house for a glass of wine or to shoot up heroin or whatever they do, and they talk their heads off, and a year later it comes out in a book, and there follow years of bitter and fruitless litigation, and that is why you should always keep a writer at arm's length.

Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.