Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.

Give guilt - the gift that lasts forever.

... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.

I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Give up your good 'Christian' life and follow Jesus