Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

A romp in the hay lingers like the first line of a song, but your true love is the one you make a life with and write more than a line about, you write a whole book.

Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.

... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.

...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.

Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.