You've got work to do. Don't put this off. And don't take the long view, here. You know? Life is today and tomorrow and - and if you're lucky, next week.

Sing your song; don't let the bastards get you down.

I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.

Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.

Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.

Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.