It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

All solutions are temporary, so why not go for duct tape?

In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

I'm a lucky guy. I get to sit around every day and indulge in make believe and get paid for it.